Gamers Clamour for Realism, Want to Insure Virtual Cars

From action games about stealing cars to more traditional racing games, cars have been a big part of video games for a long time. As technology has advanced, the cars have become more detailed, and most games now add realistic damage to these cars when you wreck them. Even with all of these advances in the added realism to driving in a virtual world, gamers are still not satisfied. One aspect of driving, they claim, is still not being represented in games: buying car insurance.

While this may sound a bit silly at first, consider that according to the latest gaming statistics, nearly 95% of all cars driven in video games end up smashed into a wall. “I was playing that car-jacking game, right? I steal a car, and of course, I wreck it against a wall trying to outrun the cops,” began one player, “and that happens all the time! If I had been able to buy temporary car insurance in the game, I could go out right away and buy another virtual car. Instead, I just stole another one and wrecked it against a wall too.” These types of games are particularly in need of virtual insurance agencies, with the average player stealing and subsequently wrecking nearly 45 cars a day.

But it’s not just virtual criminals demanding to buy virtual insurance. 45-year-old Kentucky resident Bobby Retunkson is a professional video game racecar driver, and he too is concerned about protecting his virtual car. “These cars are expensive,” Retunkson states, “and it took me nearly an hour of playing to raise the virtual money needed to buy my prize racecar. What happens if I wreck it in a race? All that time and fake money, down the drain!” Retunkson recalls how he once found his 10-year-old daughter playing his game, repeatedly slamming his prize car against the wall. “She was laughing hysterically as she smashed the car to pieces,” he recounts, “and all I could do was think ‘If only I could have purchased temporary car insurance in-game.’” All of the stress has even made Retunkson contemplate retiring from his virtual career. “I’m tired of waiting for a feature that should have been implemented in racing games from the very beginning,” he says tearfully.

Thankfully, he may not have to wait much longer. One of the leading developers in video games has confirmed that their next game will indeed feature the ability to purchase car insurance. “We have worked for years to get all the nuances of buying insurance just right,” the developer claims. “We are going to offer temporary car insurance, long-term insurance, even boat insurance!” the developer says. Since the new game is another car-jacking and drug-dealing simulator, the game will also allow you to rob the insurance agency and then purchase car insurance with the money you stole. “It’s truly a great day to be a gamer,” the developer laughed.